Read Philippians 3:12-16 and Luke 10:38-42: Finding my way

(Although I wrote this a couple of years ago, it is so pertinent to the times we are in right now that I thought it was worth publishing)

In the past few weeks, I have been taking time to reflect on the course of my life and what has happened in it.  Almost a year ago I left my full-time ministry position to launch into something new God had for me.  However, having no idea what that ‘new’ thing was, I went on a 6 month sabbatical with the intention of waiting on God and starting the ‘new’ at the end of the 6 months.

I noticed some things along the path that seemed to parallel my life.  God often speaks to me through nature so I was paying attention.  All along the edge of the path on both sides, the bushes, small trees and weeds were chopped off about 3 feet high.  Something had come along with a blade set at a specific height (it looks like) and cut everything in its path.  It was so odd! Yet it was a fitting description of how I have been feeling about my attempts at finding new ministry or even a job.  Truncated.  Going nowhere.  And our finances were suffering because of it.

I also noticed that although most of the trees were budding nicely, one tree was standing tall with completely bare branches.  Was it dead?  “This is just like me”, I thought, “barren.  Everything around me full of new life and I haven’t figured out it’s spring”.  Lord, what are You trying to show me?

I had read the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 that morning, and I remembered that Mary CHOSE.  My life was full of distractions, like Martha, and I’d forgotten to sit at Jesus’ feet.  When I went on sabbatical, I let go of everything including my intention of using that time to seek God’s will for me.  Instead, I went on vacation in my mind, and spiritually went to sleep.  Distractions filled up my life and I found myself tempted with things (like binge watching TV) that had not tempted me for many, many years.  I forgot that true Sabbatical was supposed to focus on the Lord and not on me. 

I came to a turn off on the path.  I wondered if it was possible this was a loop back to the main road.  Should I take it?  I’d be taking a chance. I decided to walk about 10 minutes and see if I was going the right direction.  As I turned, I realized symbolically that I was facing a choice in my walk with Christ as well.  I could continue on the path I was on, and enjoy a fairly easy ‘retirement’ lifestyle, one of comfort and fun and pleasing myself.  Distractions abound and I know how quickly my time fills up with meaningless pursuits.  I know this isn’t what the Lord wants for me, and it’s not what I want for myself.  Like Mary, I choose.  Help me find my way back to Your path, Lord.  I want to follow You, to walk with You, to fulfill Your purposes for me.

The words of Phil 3:12 came back to me: “ I have not already obtained this or been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”  I confessed to the Lord what I saw was going on, and asked Him to lead me.  To strengthen me and keep me pressing on.  It’s so easy to fall back, especially now that for a year I’ve restructured my time and relationships to suit my lazy life.  As I confessed I felt peace, and it was then that I noticed the beauty around me.  This new trail was lovely with lots of evidence of spring.  I renewed my trust in God for my ‘promised land’ of new ministry, a fruitful life, a closer walk with Him.  I frequently checked my GPS, and yes, I was headed in the right direction to intersect the road.  Spiritually, my GPS is the Spirit, bringing to mind God’s promises to me and verses that He had given me to guide me as I waited.

The path led deeper into a hilly area, and it was lovely just to meander here with the Lord.  I crested a hill and as I rounded a curve, my heart sank.  A huge puddle (really a small pond), blocked my path.  It was as wide as the Grand River near my home.  I could see the trail continued on the other side, but it stretched far into the forest beside me. I was still descending the hill so it was obviously deep and it completely engulfed the path.  What was I going to do now?  I had walked already 45 minutes; was I going to have to go back?  Is this something the Lord is trying to show me?

I couldn’t go back, so I decided to at least try to go through the forest and go around.  “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on…”  (Phil 3:13&14)  Yes, this is a lesson.  I picked my way through branches and bushes, reaching a small clearing and then searching for another.  I stepped on logs to avoid the water and gingerly placed my foot on fallen leaves, hoping not to sink in.  Although it wasn’t easy, I could see I was nearing the end of the puddle and gradually made my way back towards the path.  After another curve, I saw the road – I was so close!  Almost back to where I started; on the right track now.

How like my life now!  It seems the way is blocked and I am heading into a swamp.  But I can’t go back.  You told me to forget what is behind, Lord; certainly there is no going forward unless I leave the past behind me.  To go forward I must push through the undergrowth, the weeds I’ve allowed to grow up and choke the Word; but if I persevere I will find my way back to Your path, Your way, Your promises.  Lord I want to follow You.  Always. And never go back.  Amen