I was at a low point; this time I couldn’t seem to drag myself out of it. Now that my job has ended, I found myself bored and despondent; I didn’t have enough to keep me occupied and pull me out of my slump. In my morning quiet time, I followed the outline of Psalm 143 realizing the Lord was guiding me.
v3 ‘My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave’ and v4 ‘I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear’. These words closely parallel my life. Yes, I feel like my enemies (my fears and despondent thoughts) are chasing me and knocking me down.
REFLECT: How do you feel? Do you have ‘enemies’ that are overtaking you? Keep in mind that your real enemies are NOT the other people in your life. Don’t focus on human failings, focus on the enemy of our souls and his work behind the scenes.
As I continued reading, I wondered if I should do what David did in this Psalm. v5 He remembered the old days; all Your great works. David pondered these great works – all God has done. So I did, too. I spent about half an hour thinking over my life and how God has worked in and through my circumstances, both the good and the bad. My attitude soon turned to praise.
REFLECT: Take a few minutes and try this! Maybe go for a walk without your phone and think back on your life, or maybe journal. Ask God to lead your mind and get rid of distractions. Ask Him to keep the negative thoughts away from you and to cleanse your mind and imagination as you reflect.
Now I knew that God had been speaking directly to me, at my point of need. David’s words continued to resonate within my spirit. v6 ‘I lift my hands to You in prayer’. What else can I do but turn to You, Lord? I pray it leads me to that deeper longing.
REFLECT: As you lift your hands to the Lord in prayer, what wells up in you? Write a response to God from your heart.
I wonder if v7-12 the prayer David prayed as he lifted his hands? v7 ‘Come quickly for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away or I will die.’ YES. I feel like I have no hope. Without You, Lord, I do not.
v8 ‘Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You.’ EACH MORNING – this isn’t going to be over today. Maybe not even this week or this month. That’s why I need to “hear”. Every. Single. Day. It is the only way I can keep trusting the Lord. I will surely fall. My fear always lurks close by. ‘Show me where to walk’ Lord, like David, I feel like I’m hiding; a fugitive longing for Your rescue. If You broke me out I wouldn’t know where to go. “Follow Me”, You say. I seem to get lost a lot, Lord. ‘Show me where to walk for I give myself to You’. Do I? Can I honestly pray that? Lord I want to. Badly. But if I can’t see the way, I’ll get lost again.
REFLECT: What part of David’s prayer speaks to you? Think through these verses in relation to your own life and re-write them as a prayer to God from your heart.
v9 ‘Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to You to hide me’. You mean it’s okay to hide?? Yes. The Lord will hide me when I run to Him. Oh thank you Lord! I want no turning back. Lord please block the entrance to my old haunts; those places I run physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to hide. Or to turn off my thoughts. v9 ‘Rescue my from my enemies, Lord’. When I first read it I honestly saw the word ‘thoughts’ instead of enemies. Yes Lord. Rescue me from my thoughts.
REFLECT: Who are your enemies? Where do you normally go to hide? To TV, or social media, or work? What would it mean for you to run to the Lord to hide you?
Lord, replace my old habits with new ones. v10 ‘Teach me to do Your will. May Your gracious Spirit lead me forward on firm footing’. May I add, “Please”? Lord You know I’m afraid. Show me clearly! Level the path so I won’t slip. “He will not let your foot slip” (Ps 121) Yes. Amen.
v11 ‘For the glory of Your Name, preserve my life’. Lord, please preserve my God-life, so it doesn’t get consumed by the flesh. ‘Because of Your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress’ v12 ‘In Your unfailing love…’ Not because of anything I’ve done. ‘Silence my enemies’ Oh Lord. Destroy my foes (fears). ‘For I am Your servant.’
REFLECT: Like me, maybe the dark place you’re in is because it’s where you’ve gone to hide when fears assail you. You climb out of the pit (more like God lifts you out) but when you run back you fall deeper again (v7) Let God hear your heart cry. “PLEASE! Every day I need to hear of Your love. Every morning. I am trusting You. Show me where to walk. I give myself to You; do what You will with me. Whether I feel whole again or not; whether I get out of this trouble or not; whether You keep me here in this dark inner place or not. Your will be done.
Amen
Christian Contemplative Journey 
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