Moving vs Stagnating Read Hebrews 12:1-12

I had been feeling pretty agitated; lots was going on and none of it seemed to be working out very well.  I was away on a weekend with a group of teens, helping a camp get ready to open for the summer.  I was really hoping this time away would help me refocus and get a handle on what the Lord wanted me to do with each of the confusing situations.  Mostly, I wanted my agitation to go away; it’s not like me to be steeped in anxiety for so long.

The camp is a beautiful setting along the Pigeon River, right beside a Mill Dam.  This morning I walked along the river’s edge, praying that God would settle me enough to hear Him speak.  I wandered to a small dock, and as I looked out over the calm and misty river I remembered the words of the 23^rd Psalm, “He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul”.  Right.  HE leads me, HE restores my soul.  I was flooded with a sense of peace and of God’s presence.  I don’t have to try forcing stillness, I just have to rest in Him and He will do it.

Soon it was time for our morning staff meeting and devotions, and I felt the agitation return.  As we discussed our plans for the day (very different than what we originally thought) all I wanted to do was escape.  The leader of our devotional time sent us outside individually to pray, and I was glad to get back to the river.  When I returned to the dock, I stood and tried to recreate the peaceful feeling I had earlier by repeating to myself “YOU restore my soul”. But now the water wasn’t calm and still anymore, it was moving, being pulled towards the dam.  I could hear the churning, rushing water being pushed over the edge and instantly related it to the inner churning, the turbulent circumstances that were coming and were going to cause more trouble for me.  “No, no! “, was my instant reaction.  “I want stillness, quiet, rest!  I don’t want any more trials!  I don’t want the inevitability of changes I know will come.”  I looked at the edge of the river bank and the dock I was standing on where the water was calmer.  However, all around the edge of the dock and in between the pedal boats the water was still, yes, but it was stagnating.  Murky water was collecting debris of sticks and feathers.  It was getting yellow scum on the top – and these pedal boats had only been put there less than 24 hours ago.  I recognized what the Lord was saying to me:  If you hold on to rest when you are supposed to move, you are going to stagnate and collect clutter in your life.  By using my time unwisely and letting anxieties, desires and fears take over, the sludge was already starting to collect.  By avoiding the movement towards the turbulence, I was stagnating in my spiritual life.  Quickly.

I decided to walk over to the other side of the dam to see the water coming out.  As I crested the hill, I noticed how fast it was moving, seemingly propelled forward and shooting out 2 or 3 feet in a volume and speed that surprised me.  I heard God whisper, “what do you see?”.  This water is clear, moving forward, almost like a waterfall; propelled ahead by some unseen force.  A waterfall has often been a symbol to me of spiritual fullness and living water flowing out of my relationship with the Lord.

But I could also smell something bad.  This baffled me, so I moved a little farther down the river to see around the bend a bit more clearly. I discovered what was causing the stink; it was a drainage pipe I had been standing over top of.  Here comes that stagnant water, slowly moving down through the pipe, also being forced out but foul smelling and just as quickly stagnating on this side of the river.

I recognized what God was trying to show me:  Either way change is coming.  I had to choose.  I could keep trying to escape my circumstances to avoid pain; I could continue to fill my mind with clutter to avoid dealing with troubles or cram the emptiness inside of me with stuff or time-wasters.  OR I could choose to trust the Lord, keep my eyes on Him, and allow Him to fill the emptiness in me and walk with me through the circumstances ahead.  I resolved to turn away from those activities or thoughts that I run to in an effort to escape, and walk forward into my coming changes, trusting the Lord to bring good from them.

Are you facing trials in your life today?  How do you cope? What is God trying to say to you today?