DUMB & DANGEROUS Read Matthew 21:28-32

Towards the end of February, when we had a few days of mild weather, I decided to take a spiritual retreat day and return to Inglis Falls, a place I often hike in the summer. It’s an area I know very well.    I knew I wouldn’t be able to do any serious hiking at the top of the falls, but I at least wanted to walk the trails and talk to the Lord while it was mild enough to be outside.

Beside the falls there’s a ledge at the very top of a cliff, with an old dead trunk sticking out of it.  I like to sit here on the edge and during the summer I’ve gotten into the habit of meeting the Lord at this spot on a regular basis.  When I arrived at Inglis, I noted that the stairs were closed off, but that the snow wasn’t too deep along the stone wall on the other side of the falls and I could walk easily.  I could not believe the fast and heavy flow of the water; I had never seen anything like it.  I actually thought it was raining, but realized it was the mist from the falls.  The noise was deafening.  As I walked along I noticed that some of the crevices had barely any snow, and the fence meant to keep people away from the edge had been bent up so that there was a space underneath it.  I felt a nudge to crawl under the fence and immediately dismissed it – there’s no way the Lord would be asking me to do that!  “That’s dumb and dangerous”, I said (out loud) and I turned away from the fence and out to the trails.  I knew I could get around to the edge another way if I really wanted to.  I followed the trail as best I could, but a fallen tree blocked the path so I turned back.  Again, as I neared the fence, I felt the Lord was beckoning me to crawl under.  “Really?” I thought, “could this actually be You, Lord, calling me there? It’s snowy.  It’s icy.  Not to mention the cliff with the 60 foot drop.  It’s dumb and dangerous.  But, here I go, because a spiritual retreat is supposed to be about listening to You.”  I crawled under the fence, and clinging to the trees I stepped slowly down towards the edge of the cliff.  I waited for the check in my spirit to confirm I was being ridiculous, but it never came.  The opposite happened, actually; I felt the Spirit encourage me forward.  I gripped the rocks and I stepped onto the narrow ledge that would lead me to my prayer spot.  Slowly, one foot in front of the other, clinging for dear life; with the words ‘dumb and dangerous’ constantly running through my mind. I could now see the place I usually sit; the ledge was covered in snow except for the final 6 inches
before the cliff.  The familiar dead tree leaning out over the ravine sat in the midst of bare, wet rock.  “Our spot, yes, but the way there is treacherous right now Lord”, I prayed.  “It’s snowy and narrow.  I have to step over roots and rocks, skinny footholds.  You know how clumsy I am.”  But still, the Lord beckoned.  “Dumb and dangerous”, I muttered, and down I went.  Clinging to the thinnest of branches, stepping so carefully, and finally reaching the rock I always sit on with the Lord.  The falls are roaring.  The water is flowing freakishly fast, the mist is like Niagara! I am still about 4 feet away from the edge, noting the mere 6 inches of exposed rock at the edge. “Come and sit” I hear the Lord whisper. It
was too much for me.  “No, Lord,” I said, “that’s too far.  Too dumb.  Too dangerous.  I’ll just stand over here and take pictures.”

And that’s what I did.  I took a few pictures of the snow-covered rocks at the bottom of the ravine, the rapid flow of the falls, the breathtaking view of the valley.  I left, climbing out through the crevices and trails that lead away from the ledge.  ’Here are some tracks’ I thought, but I slid and fell going up a hill, then I grabbed a root to steady myself and it broke.  ‘He will not let your foot slip’ I remembered from Psalm 121.  I didn’t realize I’d left Him back at the cliff.

It wasn’t until the next day that I realized I went through the rest of my day doing what I wanted.  Although I said I had no agenda for my spiritual retreat day, I actually did.  I read what I wanted.  I was guiding myself, obeying myself.  On the edge of that cliff, the Lord was trying to show me; sometimes like the prodigal son I ‘come to my senses’ but I don’t ‘get up and go to my Father’. “No thanks, I’ll just stay over here and take pictures”.

The Lord is inviting me to sit and rest with Him. I realize now what He’s saying I do this all the time: come close but avoid taking the final steps.  I read something that penetrates my spirit but then quickly think about how I can teach it; I’m restless or uncomfortable with what God is saying so I walk or do housework to kill the restlessness in me. I am reeling with the recognition of my rebellion:  I thought I knew better and I outright said ‘NO’ to the Lord.  I think of myself as so disciplined and so spiritual!

I was reminded of the Parable of the Two Sons in Matthew 21.  Which son was the obedient one?  The son who was quick to say yes but then didn’t do it?  Or the son who said no but then changed his mind and obeyed?  Too often I know I’m the first son; quick to say ‘Yes, Lord’, especially when others are watching.  But what is in my heart?  And why do I so often fail to follow through?  Lord, I confess and ask for Your forgiveness.  Help my friends who read this to hear Your Spirit whispering to them.  Thank you, Lord.

Psalm 130:3&4:  If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.