A few days have passed since I had my encounter with the Lord, the Stronger One, who had taken my self-armour and freed me from my dungeon (see Pt 1). Today I ‘accidentally’ read the wrong passage for one of my devotional books, and read Luke 11:21-26 again. This ‘accidental reading’ indicated to me that Jesus was ready for me to go deeper into this passage, and look at this again; this time focusing on v24-26.
In truth, I have never been able to link v21-23 with v22-26. I did not draw the connection. I didn’t on my first reading this time, either; but the Lord obviously wanted to say something to me so I read it again. I recalled His opening the door of the room I was hiding in, guarding my heart with my own armour. I remembered how He gave me His armour as I put mine down. I remembered how He cleaned out my house…and then it hit me. That’s the connection! The house of v21 is the house of v24. It’s all swept clean, all the demons gone, and it’s not filled with anything!
I had been feeling anxious again, and I recognized anxiety in my heart right now. Was this an indication of the return of even more evil? (v26) What should I be filling my house with, Lord? I heard the still, small voice say, ‘the fruit of the Spirit’. Yes, I should have known. I replaced the outside (my armour) but not the inside. The Lord was the strong man who overpowered, stripped the false armour and emptied the house. Now the house, and my little room, is swept clean and put in order, but I did not fill it. Initially I felt peace and joy but it vanished quickly. I don’t have LOVE. I found heart filling up again with anger, bitterness, resentment. But now I see Jesus come and stand in my house, in my heart. He commands these to go and they leave. He invites me to drink deeply of the flow of His love and it fills me.
Instead of JOY I am full of fear, guilt, unhappiness. He commands these to leave and offers me to taste His joy; it is sweet to my mouth. Instead of PEACE I am restless and unsettled. He shows me a stream of living water. As I step into it and let it wash over me, I feel the restlessness wash away. He bids me drink and it is so refreshing. Cool. Calming. Instead of PATIENCE I have been impatient with everyone, and I am filled with anxiety. Jesus poured His patience over me, and I felt it flood my mind, running down into my heart. Instead of KINDNESS I have meanness, unkind thoughts. Jesus lays over me a cloak of His kindness that smothers my unkindness and kills it. Instead of GOODNESS – ugh. I feel so bad. Sneaky, underhanded and plotting. Jesus puts something into my mouth, like a wafer, that fills and coats my mouth, dissolving on my tongue. It forces my mouth into a different shape – a smile!
Instead of FAITH I am filled with doubt. This is the most difficult. Jesus surrounds me with an outer layer, like a force field, which I breathe in. Almost like an oxygen tent. Breathe in trust, breathe out doubt. Breathe in faith, breathe out questioning. Breathe in total surrender, breathe out fear. I know that next is GENTLENESS. Ugh again. I’m so mean, harsh and intense! Jesus hands me a cup with a tea that coats my spirit like water dripping through a coffee maker…drip, drip, drip. I feel myself gentling. SELF CONTROL is last. I thought I had this one, Lord. But all I really have are excuses; I’m selfish, lazy and tired. This time Jesus gives me something like an apple that I have to bite and chew, turn, bite and chew. Some of the bites taste bitter; and I realize that some of this effort will feel distasteful to me. But I must let the Holy Spirit finish His work, no matter how distasteful I find it.
Lord I invite you into my house. You must move in. Jesus, go down deep into my heart, down through the shabby rooms of all my life. Every place you plant my foot is yours. Rebuild the ruins, Lord. Make it a place for You to dwell. Dwell in my heart through faith.
To the reader: I trust you have been able to see your own life in my writings. Allow Jesus to open every room of your ‘house’ and show You what needs to go. Please don’t rush this; it may take days, weeks or even years. Don’t shy away from Him as He comes with His light. Let Him enter and be blessed.
Christian Contemplative Journey 
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