Read Luke 7: 36-50 JESUS IS ANOINTED BY A SINFUL WOMAN

There are days when I struggle to feel God’s love, or any love for that matter.  I learned over the years that if I closed off my heart to people, I would feel a lot less pain.  I’m not justifying this in any way, but it’s a reality for me.  As a result, I also struggle with opening my heart to Jesus.  I feel like every time I open it to Him, someone else comes along with something hurtful and it goes right inside.  It’s a struggle I’ve had for many, many years.

So in this way, I resonate with the sinful woman, likely a prostitute, in our Biblical narrative.  I think a prostitute must know how to turn off her feelings to guard her heart.  We don’t know much about the woman from Luke’s account, except that she must have heard Jesus preach and opened her heart in repentance.  She came to the Pharisee’s house to see Him, probably at great personal cost to herself.  She would not be welcomed by the host or the other guests; she knew that.  They would not be kind in their comments.  And she brought a really expensive jar of perfume; likely her most valuable possession. This was a sacrificial act all the way around.

Many times I have repented but the very act has left me feeling raw and vulnerable.  It was in one of those times, when I knelt at Jesus feet and wept, that He reminded me of this passage in Luke and I can easily put myself into the story, in the place of that sinful woman.  I know what my sins deserve.  I have hardened my heart and turned off my feelings to guard my soul.  As she wept at His feet, so I find myself weeping.  Just as the Pharisee judged the woman, so the accuser of my soul says that Jesus should realize I’m sinful. Worthless.  A spiritual adulteress.  Why should You let me touch You, Lord?  That’s a very good question.

But just like that woman, Jesus turns to me and speaks to him. “Do you see this woman?”  I objected straight out.  “No! Lord” I cried, “I don’t want anyone looking at me.”  I really wrestled with this.  Why not? Because I feel exposed; naked before the Lord.  Those who look at me will know who I am, see my faults, my flaws, my scars.  I want instead to curl up in a ball and scream, “Don’t look at me!”  Like this woman, for me it’s too late.  The high-powered, religious leaders know who I am.  Sinful. Stained. Scorned. Shamed.

But Jesus tells of the great love of one who has been forgiven much. Does He mean … me?  Lord, You see my heart!  You have seen me.  You call attention to me and I have recognition.  You bring honour to me by pointing out I love You more.  Like the woman, I serve the Lord and bless Him and in my heart I wash His feet.  I have come for forgiveness but He has given me so much more.

The Lord speaks forgiveness but that’s not all.  “Your faith has saved you” Jesus whispers, just as He did to the woman.  Lord, are you talking about MY faith??  You acknowledge my faith.  Then He says, “go in peace.”  Peace.  I feel it flood over me.  Bring it, Lord.