Read Exodus 4:1-5 What is in your hand?

Since I am soon transitioning out of a ministry leadership position I have held for more than 20 years, I think a lot about the future.  I am by nature a planner and organizer, so I love thinking about and preparing for the changes that are coming in my life.  Where will we live? How will I spend my time? Although the planning can be enjoyable for me, it also brings with it a lot of fear.  Will we have enough money? Will I be bored? Will I have any friends once I lose the familiar social network that my job has created for me?

I confess these plans and fears have been preoccupying my thoughts for quite a while.  As I sat with the Lord in silence this morning, I heard Him whisper to me:  What is in your hand?  I knew right away what He meant.  Worry; I was clutching my position, my reputation, my income, my identity.  My hands were clenched.  Fear and doubt were causing me to grab hold tightly rather than loosen my grip on those things that I was supposed to be letting go of.  I looked at my hand, clenched tight: a fist? Although I hadn’t been aware of it, I was also hanging on to anger and unforgiveness.  I realized I didn’t even want to give the Lord an answer to His question.  I slowly unclenched and opened my hands.

How about you?  Stop reading for a moment and listen for God’s question to you, “What is in your hand?”  What is your answer?

I often will ask myself the questions Jesus asks in the Gospels, so His whisper of this question to me was not surprising.  I began to wonder where the question came from in Scripture, and searched through the Gospels in my mind but could not think of any place this question was recorded.  Then the Lord reminded me that it was to Moses, and I read through Exodus 3 and 4.  In Exodus 3 the Lord told Moses that he was the chosen instrument to deliver His people from slavery. Moses was doubtful so the Lord gave Moses a sign:  (Ex 3:12).   I thought, ‘wow, great.  I have to go through this whole ordeal, like Moses travelling all the way there and get back here, and then You’ll give me a sign?’  I don’t think I’m any less skeptical than Moses was, even though by now I should have a strong enough faith to trust what He’s doing.

But in Exodus 4, God gives Moses as sign to offer those who question him.  It’s here that the Lord asks: “what is in your hand?”  It’s his staff.  It represents who he is, his life work. “Throw it down”, God told him.  I’m sure Moses didn’t know what was coming, but he obeyed.  I struggle with the idea of ‘throwing down’ the things I clutch in my hands.  Can I throw them down if the Lord asks?  Not easily, but I will obey.  How about you?

After Moses threw down his staff, it turned into a snake, and he ran away from it!  I thought of the things in my hands.  What is there that I want to throw down and run away from?  I don’t think the Lord is asking me, or even giving me permission, to do that.  But those things are there.  Things I’d rather not deal with, things I don’t want to think about.  Situations that turn my stomach into knots because I know however they end up, I’m not going to like it.  Those things I’d be happy to throw.

What’s in my hand that I’m afraid if I throw it down it’ll turn into a snake?  Is fear keeping me from obedience – I’m afraid if I let go it’s going to come back and bite me?

Moses threw down a dead piece of wood that represented everything he was.  His identity, his employment, his life and his livelihood.  Throw it down, Lord?  It’s precious to me. Can I at least put it down gently, Lord?  You hold out Your hand and say, “Do you trust Me?”  When I let it go, You will bring it to life.  I know the story.  But, Lord, it’s so hard to let go; my hands will be empty.  I will be nothing.  Is this what You’re asking of me?

What is it that God is asking you to throw down?  Are there things you need to let go of?  Your plans, your hopes, your dreams, your desired outcomes?  Are you willing to let go of your will and say, “I delight to do Your will, O my God”?

Are there things you need to throw down and run away from?  Sins that plague you, that you can’t quite give up; attitudes or actions that you know you shouldn’t be holding on to?

Once you’ve thrown them down, are you willing to listen for the voice of God to whisper, “Pick it back up”?  Are you willing to leave it alone until then?

(v5) “This,” said the LORD, “is so that they may believe that the LORD…has appeared to you”.  As You will Lord.  Your will and not mine be done.  Your Kingdom come, my kingdom go.  Amen